Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Much Belated Tuesday Reader Mail Day

On Tuesdays, I usually post a few reader e-mails, since I don't have a comments section. I haven't had a chance in the past couple week, and I got a complaint. So here they are.

In response to a discussion about nannies, Toni who works as a nanny to put herself through graduate school offers these observations.

it's difficult to be the nanny because you have to negotiate and sometimes do things you might not like to do. moreover, i think many people who hire nannies are ambivalent and often don't want to hire them. i think guilt is huge. you can't imagine the amount of material items or sweets these parents give their children. the nanny often gets dragged into the complex relationship between the husband and wife and that's never pretty ....sometimes i feel like i'm doing a dance of sorts.....the best relationships for me, are those with a lot of autonomy. it's definitely easier to keep the kid safe and give them good food. when there are a lot of arbitrary rules that don't make sense i think that's difficult. one employer was very strict about always being in the same room as the child whereas another completed trusted her children alone and in separate rooms. .....most of the parents and most of nannies out there are largely good. it's finding a relationship that works for both parties.

One parent from New Jersey says that the childless should not resent parents leaving work early to treat or treat.

anyone who thinks [it's fun] taking kids trick or treating clearly does not have kids. and certainly does not have a child who refuses to walk on her own two feet and must be carried from house to house and then is too shy to say trick or treat or pick out her own candy, i needed a big giant rest after trick or treating which for the mommy was no trick or treat. working until 10 would have been easier. says a mom who does both.

And Allison wonders how career women can get hooked up stay-at-home dads.

Wouldn't it be interesting to see singles ads where women state explicitly that their careers come first to them, that they still want to have kids, and that they are looking for a guy who wants to be a stay-at-home dad?

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