Monday, November 03, 2003
Hanging Out in Dives
On Saturday, Steve and I divided the day up. I got the 11:00 -3:00 freedom slot, and he got 4:00 until evening slot. We both needed fun, but we had to do it separately to save babysitter money.
I used my time to wander around the Village. I didn't have much of agenda -- looked for old parenting books at the Strand, got a slice at Ray's Pizza on St. Mark's place, and picked up a CBGB's t-shirt. Mostly though I just walked around. It was good to get out of my usual few block radius of the apartment and the university. I peered into my old drinking haunts -- the Grassroots Tavern, the Tile Bar, Phebe's, Great Jones bar. I spent most of my twenties hanging out in those dives.
Susan and Margie and Chris and Sue and Stu and Toni and Melissa and others would meet after work on Fridays or late on Saturdays. We would hunker down in a darkened booth for the night ordering pitchers and bullshitting for five or six hours at a time. Sometimes we would slip out for a slice, but quickly return. Eating wasn't a big part of the evening.
One recent book (I can't remember the name) advises women to have their kids in their twenties. By doing that, you can get your career going in your thirties after the kids are in school and need less attention. When women have kids in their thirties and take off several years, it's too late to go back to work. A forty year old can't start a new career.
Should young women calculate their lives so carefully? If they are sure that they want both a career and a family, should they think through which careers offer the most flexibility, which potential husbands will be the most accomodating, which parts of the country have the sanest lifestyle, when is the best time to have children? I didn't.
Having kids early on might be a more strategic move, but it wouldn't have worked for me. Sure I would have missed all my hanging out years at the Tile Bar and Phebe's and the Grassroots Tavern. Probably more importantly, I would have certainly married the wrong guy. I didn't meet Steve until I was thirty. No, that wouldn't have worked for me.
On Saturday, Steve and I divided the day up. I got the 11:00 -3:00 freedom slot, and he got 4:00 until evening slot. We both needed fun, but we had to do it separately to save babysitter money.
I used my time to wander around the Village. I didn't have much of agenda -- looked for old parenting books at the Strand, got a slice at Ray's Pizza on St. Mark's place, and picked up a CBGB's t-shirt. Mostly though I just walked around. It was good to get out of my usual few block radius of the apartment and the university. I peered into my old drinking haunts -- the Grassroots Tavern, the Tile Bar, Phebe's, Great Jones bar. I spent most of my twenties hanging out in those dives.
Susan and Margie and Chris and Sue and Stu and Toni and Melissa and others would meet after work on Fridays or late on Saturdays. We would hunker down in a darkened booth for the night ordering pitchers and bullshitting for five or six hours at a time. Sometimes we would slip out for a slice, but quickly return. Eating wasn't a big part of the evening.
One recent book (I can't remember the name) advises women to have their kids in their twenties. By doing that, you can get your career going in your thirties after the kids are in school and need less attention. When women have kids in their thirties and take off several years, it's too late to go back to work. A forty year old can't start a new career.
Should young women calculate their lives so carefully? If they are sure that they want both a career and a family, should they think through which careers offer the most flexibility, which potential husbands will be the most accomodating, which parts of the country have the sanest lifestyle, when is the best time to have children? I didn't.
Having kids early on might be a more strategic move, but it wouldn't have worked for me. Sure I would have missed all my hanging out years at the Tile Bar and Phebe's and the Grassroots Tavern. Probably more importantly, I would have certainly married the wrong guy. I didn't meet Steve until I was thirty. No, that wouldn't have worked for me.
