Thursday, August 28, 2003

The Roaches Are Back! The Roaches Are Back!

The Roaches have made their triumphant return to our kitchen. Not the folk band, idiot. The filth-carrying, pot-roast licking, antennae-waving variety.

I noticed the odd one here and there over the past couple of weeks. OK, a stray. I can deal. But yesterday there was a cochroach convention going on on the countertop.

My inner suburban babe hates roaches. My more hardened city pals tell me, "even Park Avenue has roaches." Yeah, but they eat foie gras.

Yesterday, as I was making some burgers for the baby and myself. A couple of frisky guys ran around right in front of me! In the daylight! Jerks. Then I moved the knife block and three inch long suckers jumped out at me. They had been lurking there all along sneering at me. When my back was turned, I'm sure they were running out and licking the spatula. Scumbags.

Well, I got two out of the three of those bastards. A nice splat against the wall. But the third one is still out there. Mocking me from behind the microwave. Asshole.

Why have these creeps suddenly emerged? It's hot and humid which makes them more happy and bold. Baby drops Cherrios faster than I can pick them up. Who knows when the last time that Cuban hermit next door took out his garbage.

At 9:00, I'm going to call some exterminators. "Who's the roach's friend?"

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